somehow instead of saying "as a treat", I've started using the phrase "for morale", as if my body is a ship and its crew, and I (the captain) have to keep us in high spirits, lest we suffer a mutiny in the coming days.

and so I will eat this small block of fancy cheese, for morale. I will take a break and drink some tea, for morale. I will pick up that weird bug, for morale.

I'm not sure if it helps, but it does entertain me

I am not responsible for who I become when hyperfixating

I'd like to see YOUR dignity hold up when flooded by 2000% of your typical dopamine levels

i'm bisexual and tired. rb if you're bisexual and tired.

"Well, I guess there's only one question left."

I think the most revolutionary thing to do with the joker at this point would be to make him funny

Tapping the “If art cannot be made without abusing those that make it, I do not want it” sign vigorously once again.

Carmy + encouraging his team

THE BEAR
season 2

It is 1880s America, you are about to spawn as a Historically Significant White Guy. Choose a class:

TROUBLEMAKING FRONTIER PREACHER

• Special Power: Good Christian. Your vague adherence to American protestantism will ensure that law enforcement does not bother you whatsoever.
• Victory condition: Fuck enough of your followers wives to start an inbred theofascist micronation.

MANICALLY AMBITIOUS CON ARTIST

• Special Power: Basic Literacy. You're poor, but you know how to read. They'll never expect it. You may forge literally any document and it will be believed 100% of the time.
• Victory Condition: Steal enough money to fuck off to Latin America. A Spanish speaking nation might as well be the moon to your debtors.

EUROPEAN NOBLE FAILSON

• Special Power: Colonial Wealth. Your funny accent, foppish dress, and noble title, will make any American think you are totally good to buy it on credit.
• Victory Condition: Become the boytoy to the wife of some borderline-gangster politician and save up enough political capital to run for office and get addicted to opium.

DOOMED FRONTIER EXPLORER

• Special Power: How The Fuck Are You Alive. Your freakish diet of pork, whiskey, and maple syrup, makes you entirely immune to all physical injury and disease. Somehow.
• Victory Condition: You have one mission, and one mission only. You need to piss off some completely friendly natives. You need to piss them off so bad they leave your stupid ass to starve in a food forest they've been cultivating for literally thousands of years.

ambulances aren't wheelchair accessible

if you need an ambulance and you use a wheelchair that doesn't fold, they will force you to leave it behind. wherever it is, wherever you are. just abandon your autonomy and ability to move around and potentially tens of thousands of dollars of equipment

imagine if you needed an ambulance and they said fine but you can't bring your legs

people have taken issue with my use of the word 'force', so, after rolling my eyes so hard i can now see my brain, i will clarify that, no, they can't 'force' you to do anything. they will simply not take you to the hospital if you refuse to leave your wheelchair behind.